Day 5 * Missing Someone*

Miss

• with all of sudden...i just cried...and i was recalling the day we been togetther...every part that you appear..once i just look at it...is just came out an illusion..which is you...
• i dunno why..i still miss you..i dunno why it just uncontrolable....i really wish to let go..but is just hard...

everything goes tuffer and harder everyday life is getting more adventure....and kinda worries about my future lolz...

and next week maybe is my "P" license test D= OMG i wonder can i pass through =/....and what i heard from my uncle...i probabbly go sit the test with Mei Mei....haha and both of us have promise to organize another re-union cause next year...a lot of people leaving and went for further studies for an example now Kok Lim have left M'sia and went to Aus...lolz who would be next? hmm....

Day 4

• wow another day...the whole day feel so un-even LOL but so far so good
• so today i have went for my 11hours driving lesson and on the half way of training it rains...this rain makes the tyre sound...that's kinda scary and make me got nervous all of sudden..
• today is totally exhausted from driving after that...one of my coll friend have invited me to watch movie in "Leisure Mall" we went to watch "Kung Fu Chef" is totally nice and cool haha...but i realize that a lot of part is cut.....and my friend say it doesn't...lolz well is ok then...after so he fetched me back....
  

Day3

• Day 3 haha......i kinda miss is 3 days..
• and wow today account class is kinda ok...we already get into lvl3..ka bu yah!?
• and so...costing teacher "Ms.April" she lost her voice..sad thing eh? haih wish she can get heal soon...drink more honey and lemon..=D
• and so tomorrow is my 4th time driving lesson.....and soon im getting into my driving test and that's is scary....wish i could just pass this test as soon as possible...owh god....please pray for me....alright all the best ;)
  

Another Day

• today is Day 2 of missing the person...
• well today i may be too tired and having fun with my family
• today being so silly...someone that all of us hate him the most..and i being like his avenger....
• he being so immature..he just make me damm piss off
• so....those homework are freaking hard is keep on giving me pressure make me really headache....is like im the only who doesnt know how to do it...
• i am really dumb lolz....
• alright then...i hope goin all this i will being more hardworking and make me study much more easily....
• GOGO Coddy keep it up
• and i wish i could ever leave you out from my heart....i dont wish it something happen on me like last time...and wish my family will back to normal soon...
• my second bro is freaking funny...we went for a walk today cool...and we saw a mini zoo and this stuff gonna influence my family member and now my house hv 7 CHICKENS OMG!?...
  

The Following Days

The look and face during Chinese New Year which i still missing someone
This how i been now

Let's try and see...today we start count the day i been missing the person we make it as the 1st day ok?.
so Day 1 is still go as usual.....so yea...let's see....

Love & Family

Love

• well i love to go with love...sometimes love is kinda stupid and being really silly that u could ever imagine.....
• all friends beside me....having all kind of love problem...they just love a person but they just doesn't have the braveness to face the fact which is imposibble....
• and i have been giving advice to them...
• but come back to me....i been wondering...that i may just give them a proper advice but come and think about it...i cant face my love....
• i didnt really couple up before but i spoke like have been through a lot of exprience....
• even though i didnt couple up before but i do fall in love before which is something people are not suppose to have this..cause it may bring up you to become stupid and did something silly which worth nothing...
• me? im the first person in the world who have this exprience before....if not mistaken I did mention it on my previous POSTS....
• haha so it's been 2009 and everything goes a big diferent since last year compare to this year
• met a lot of new friend, new school (college), seens a lot of new stuff. learn something that you didnt even learn before and futher more....
• but...there is something i'm still keeping in my heart and i didnt let go
• since i move a step into 2009 i have though i could ever forget the one i love in fact i am just lying to myself, im cheating on myself....i just cant face it...
• it's been 4 months we didnt even call,see or even heard each other voice....but once i listen to love song my love image is just appear and i cant even forget it...even i get into my bed the image just appear..So, i just have to make myself really tired and go to bed.....and during last week if im not mistaken...i even dream about it...
• so, to tell the truth is just so suffering....i feel like telling someone but i just may not know who should i tell to...so i just expose my feeling through blogging....
• Futhermore, sometimes i just feel like crying it out but i just cant....i cant cry from the outside and i cry from inside of my heart......this prove that i still love the person...and prove that i cant even forget the person....how much i miss the person i just may not know...i wish one day we meet we could just hug each other..is just enough...even till today i have change a lot...i became tuffer,stronger and may not easy been bullied...but im sure with it voice it just bring the old me back....
• this is why i said why im in love...and i will try my best to let it go....to bring myself up and face the facts " Go Coddy"

Family

• As everyone know family is important to everyone...i remembered one of my friend said before no matter what you did..your friend are not important but your family is important cause they the one who support you and gives you strength....
• At first. i just don't believe but till i step into 2009 i just realize what my friend said is true....
• my family is do a part of me..without them i may not move forwards till this far...
• exspecially my mum..her love i can totally feel it...i will try my best to giv her more than what she gave it to me.....
• and so...my family having a really big family problem...it's been 4 month since now...since November till now February....
• i really worried for my family member i wish i could help...but in fact i just can do nothing....
• so i felt went to the temple to pray for my family safe and be happy....
• and moreover, i wish we could went through the problem as soon as possible and went back to our old road.....
• over i pray for my family again =) *may god bless*
  

BACK back....*time passed to fast*

• it's been 2month since the last time i on
• well everyone have change even me....
• i went to PMC to study my pure accounting subjects which 5 subjects "Managemet Account,Account,Costing,Business Statistics & Advanced Business Calculation'
• seriously all this thing is not as easy as you though freaking hard man...
• Kinda miss the "oldist Friends " even some of them are like invisible..or maybe i'm the one O.O
• and so kinda meet my new's friend
• kinda like them very much they are just being so friendly
• and so we having a hard time to study and do miss some calculation..but we our cool relation we go through happily.
• and my High School's friends we being far apart from each other... =/
  sad thing....i wonder how is everyone now?
  well after i went to Sok Yan's Party is been like wow...cool is reunion really miss each other
  but too bad....im kinda busy i dont even have time to meet them
• i wonder...we didnt meet each other quite a time....once we meet each other again will us be stranger? =/ hmm....
• well hope we can meet each other soon and be the same way as what we did last time
• and here's goes the busy man....*me*.....go for the future =D
  

Yep Form 5 Last night gathering =D

Form 5 gathering!!! ^^ have fun ma? wish so lo....hehe hope everyone enjoy it =) not too cheap not too expensive ngam ngam hor hor? hehe will miss you guys leh!!!! so fast over.....hehe lucky some of us just stay near....abuden neh....Siok Jin going back to Johor Bahru and come back after CNY haih...sob..sob....let's make 2nd gathering XP lol...."hehe don't forget each other...."

Feel the place!!


Ayer...Ah yean become my background haha wek why ur eye open so big ==

Ahh Suk Khee

Siok Jin & me...omg teacher!!!morning ^^

Sok yan & Me....

Yee lai, Dai lai, Sam Lai and 4th Lai~~ lolz

Li Ling"waa so gentle" & me....hehe...

BROTHERS!!!

lol si lan yan take until like dis lolz

Me & Lian Yan(brothers!!)

Li Ling and me =D

Me and Kj (brothers!!)

ME and ah mong kor =)

• hehe...dis form 5 gathering is been organize before SPM....well is been in charge by MeiMei and me geh
• but den...ah meimei haih "put aeroplane" so make me have to organize everyone...
• been wasting so many credit and time...and tired to organize neh....
• so i have decided to make this event on Cititel
• well but wat u have giv out...you been paid back!!! coz to me...dis gathering really fun =D
• the reason i do it on Friday is because of Siok she is going back on Saturday T.T
• well then...wish everyone could enjoy...
• hope the food is nice also lo XP haha.....
• wei today i got your pic wo....why so guai wan let me take? lolz haha
• so wat u actually thinking ne...hmm dunno u or me 1st leh.."no one understand" XP
• hehe WOOHOO form 5 gathering is very fun ^^ to saw back everyone...but fun time is really fast over T.T after that....just have to call it a day...well
• just stay to keep in touch ba....si bo ah mong kor?
• hehe SWEET MEMORY

Finish exam..Feeling is Back

• i will remember the way u turn back and looked at me.....and blink with the gun symbol "bang"....and i see you with smile..and looked you walk out the hall...i wont forget how u walk out....
• i will remember your smile...i will be missing you....
• i will remember the day we in the school.....
• i hope it will be forever.....but is just didnt last long...
• i will be crying and sad for it..
• but it will always stay a sweet memory in my mind
• last one and message for u....i love you...and miss you...

You may just not know...

• why...cant you just treat me like a normal person...im sick of it....
• im tired...the feeling is enough...
• once i can let it go...
• can u just treat me a bit nicer....i dunno what to say....
• every of your action will remind me....
• and every of your words....especially those is hurting
• i being so uncomfortable...and those hurt feeling..it just cant be describe....
• i dunno what say......tired of the game....

by this piano play...from FF9(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMa-Z4-RqIU)

it bring some memories,sadness and happiness

I feel weird..confuse with what i do...

• i dunno what kind of feeling is this...i may not give you a proper answer....but could you just make me happy....for this past few week...i being stupid and just write all about my stupid feeling....it just becaming very irritating,.....
• I wonder....what did you think of me..I just felt so dumb.....is just if you didnt care about me....i will feel sad
• even if you are using me....i dunno...i will be fine..and kinda happy cause you will think of me...when you use me...(i dunno you are using me or not..)
• but...after that...i also just feel sad..cause you just use me...for the purpose your happiness.....
• and this make me feel kinda painful...and heart broken....
• to say the true...i may not just answer you properly...and i don't dare to decline....
• Decline..i will feel painful after you ask me why....are you ok?why you want to decline....
• Accept...i look at you...i just being hard and uncomfortable and being sad...
• i have no idea what i can do...i have no choice...
• please....god...can you give me a hint...and just help me..or make me change....i don't want to continue like this....just no....please

hope everything just can change......

• I just wanna be with you

Melody bring me and flow me away....

• i dunno what am i suppose to do....
• A Melody could just calm me down....a music can bring me to any kind of emotion
• so i have no idea.....what kind of thinking i should be...hey..u being so caring to me..since i talk to you....it make feel so comfortable....
• but when you didnt talk to me...i just felt cold....and feel sad.....
• well....i hope my voice can become a melody to you..
• to comfort you...
• to make you happy
• to stay with you
• be in your mind...forever....
• well now....
• melody....the voice of yours...have confuse me,....have make me...crazy......
• so.....you have bring me away...and be a person which is not myself anymore....
• you change me everything.....you make me feel diference and make me feel something special and i can feel the feeling of being down...compare to last time.......
• i wish this thing make me be much more happier...i dont want to be down..

A girl : Coddy a!! wake up la.
pls laa. like dat only also wa
dun lanlanyeh sinn no mood.
CONTROL URSELF laa. always wan me call you wake up...when you will wont get scolded from me...

• haha...thx...for always awaken me....

Piano Tune

• A Piano...could just bring you to somewhere...for some girl...they felt kinda romantic when a guy just played it for them....and mostly...all girls they just love to play piano...
• the does not love the way how people play...but the love the sound of the instrument..it just attract them....
• and so today....with all about music....and mostly about piano...
• this instrument bring me all kind of memory...and i dunno is actually a good..thing...
• Once the song is play...let me flash back my memory....
• So....den....i try to give him some space....and so....i'll out from my house.....in this moment.....i when to my fav place....where i cry,sad,happy i would like to that place.....which nearby my house area.....what i can tell the hint "where a lot of people love to go there when is nothing to do and it's windy....."
• so.....i bring my mum photo with me....cause i love to have my mum beside me...
• so....everything wish just over soon....as my friend said...please do overcome it and don't let people control you....

There's No Place Like Us

• i have no idea....the only place could not get away....is only my room...
• my room is my world....
• there is a place full of memory.....
• there place i cried..
• the place i laugh
• the place i studied
• the place i eat.....
• the place i watch movie....
• the place i listen to music...
• the place i meet all my friend
• the place i sleep....

and

• the place where a lot of people have couple up...so far it's about 4 couple up in my room
• but how come i don't have?
• i just no idea......the moment i see you....my heart have broken...for being so sweet and romantic.....
• i have no idea....as in speechless...mum...i need you...to let me stay strong....well if you are here....i can stay calm and wont feel lonely.....mum i miss you..=)
• i will recognize all my distance....and the hope and wishes will just come true with no idea....
• can i have some rewards...
• why did u betray me?why...?why...?....i cant believe you treat me like that....i will remember.....
• as long you doesn't betray me is enough.....plss dont....if she betray me...is fine...but you...please don't......I miss You....the moment of our days....(non-betrayer)

"NO MUSIC NO LIFE"

• haih....hey...how are you feeling today?
• i'm kinda worried once i see you like that....please...you....are always in me...even know i forget you...but once i see those feeling just back into me..haha...totally no idea...
• but i see you can be so happy..of course i will be happy for u....and hey remember dont force and make yourself being so struggling and suffering...Gambateh...
• well....after i have a chat with my TWINS haha.....both of us plan to study togetther to get the cert and of course do not least out is....we are planning to learn some basic instrument wand to open a band....haha....
• in this band...we are planning to make a charity band which is....everyweek go to orphanage to play some music for them..as in we have learn something

" NO MUSIC NO LIFE "

• haha...gogo all of us....a plenty of fun stuff is awaiting us...to be done and our ambition and wishes is waiting for us to touch and catch them...so it will dream come true.....
• so what we are waiting now?...just keep on study and till after SPM we have all the fun...haha gogo....
• both of us are like so excited and cant wait for the exam faster over ...
• Go Go Music =)

Thx for the Support..(moral value XP)

• haha...thank for evryone who have give me a spirit of energy to let me stand up...
• now...First of all, the first thing i would not ever give something like bring me...down..
• remember people the moment you just got hurt remember to just stay calm...do not come and over take those action yo....and everything will just be overcome...i am kinda sure...it do or will be paid back....in a good or proper way....
• well just remain the stay....
• to think about it or think back....we will know..the reason we are here..is just not for you....
• but in this reason...it doesn't meant i will not let you down......
• remember once you just come i will try to change you into a proper and good person...
• i may not comform..that i will make it and i'm a 100% good person but...i will try my best to be one...so let do it people..without any knowledge just learn to say sorry...

Missing A Part of Myself

• Once you have away...from me....i really just miss you....
• everytime...every moment i do every work....i just very miss you.....
• but why? I Could just said that...it without reason and is just with all of sudden the feeling just came....
• well....in the other way....your careness..your playfulness...your sweetness...your laughness....you sadness...your memory and worried...it just always be with me....but i just felt that...i have to share with the others....
• cant it always be with me?....can i just be selfish once.....can i? Pls? pretty pls?
• i really wish...just one day....you will be back with me...no matter how long.....
• i will just describe with one...word..."wait"....i will be waiting no matter how long..even the day i be a corpse...and been sealed...in a box....that will not be released...i will be just wait....with no reason....
• it may have no result...but in the use...i could just pretend nothing happen....
• in front of you...i could not show out my tears....i could not show my happiness as well....
• in this kind of reason i could just say...that.....i could not act or pretend...it bring me really suffer...and full of pain...
• the searing of pain....it keep on burning...burn in me.....this...have may cause me...have the inner attack without reason....and it cause a high damage that may hard to be cure or heal..
• well....but it just see that i may not have the chance by watching you....
• seem u can find your own happiness...and i have to redeem myself...because of your happiness...
• what will people say? Sacrifice? actually it doesn't matter...is just the meaning of the person you love....but once they are happy...you will just feel happy for them...and...it just have no idea...
• and...it do...the jealousy exist in you heart...but what you need to do...is just pretend nothing happen and act like nothing....and once they asked? you'll just say you will fine.....
• because BIG BOY DON'T CRY....hahas...
• well....but you...tell you something...even i do lie...but i lie is just i do not want to hurt any single of your feeling...once you cry...i could not stand those feeling....i will feel sad....
• in other way...my shoulder my hand will always here for you...to wish u can lie on...so you do not feel lonely...and it other ways..just wish you can feel better....
• even every single stuff..it means nothing to you...but it just mean a lot to me.....
• slowly we recall back everything we have done before...is really a sweet memory....and the word...like always make us just feel happy....i will say.....i only...will be with you...the everytime you smile...you laugh...you happy....i will just stand beside to smile with you =)
• but....once you are tired...you sad...once you cry....my heart is like a sting...into me...make me feel hurt..and pain......
• i wanna cry it out....but i just don't have tear inside my body....
• so...let it be..people...let it be...is just depend on fate now...will just back to me....will just stop hurting me...will just be back to normal...or will just make me something special...
• this kind of question i may not answered properly..is totally "?" question mark on it....the answeer....not im the one who decide...is only you....
• only you my love...only you......
• well.....i wonder...what will happen...on the following day...
• once i didnt saw..you.I reli just miss...you...i wonder i could just hold your hand...
• and give you a kiss through the hand...into your nerve and...your heart....is just the matter you accept me or not...
• every moment you just in front of me...i feel the cutest and you are the most funny person.....
• even you do hurt my feeling...and make me angry for the purpose for you happiness...i am really angry but...i just do not have the heart to scold or say anything back to you....i will just let you do anything on me...as long you feel happy...but once i saw you with another...
• my heart is just as bad as an evil person....it all because of jealousy....
• is all the same reason.....
• i will hug you....if u wan me too...remember..i'm always be there for you.....what you want me to do...i'll just sacrifice for you..including my life..no matter how hard the thing have to be done...i just have to do it for you...
• i may not be the best person for you...but i will just try my best and keep on for you....
• remember....i will...just look at you and protect you...to prevent you from getting hurt by anyone....love you...

i miss you..what abt you? it just may not forever...but at least now u care me...it just well enough...and...i love you forever..

Time past by..

• time is always past....cant the time like turn backward...
• i really miss wat was happpening last time...
• cant it be.....and....everything will be end...
• after this year....i might have leave all my friend...and the one....
• even more...im goin to oversea...to start a new life..with all of weird feeling and be surrounded by strangers...
• so...is just wish to have gain happiness now...more better than later on.....
• i wish all wat i wan..will came back to me..and dont....leave me...
• so..this few days...have weird....sad,suffer,happy,excited,worried every kind of feeling just came out from no where...
• i have no idea...
• and i have did something that i havent done in my whole life....i n 17 years...and is my first time...indeed i have failed...but i will be fine...and i worried abt the other..
• anyway can u please be normal?...dont try to avoid....u make me uncomfortable..and sad....
• everything is true on the bottom of my heart....
• and you guys..know what happen on me...and why still want to show all those stuff?
• are u guys nutz? u guys r idiot! can u pls stop it....
• you making me suffer...why..why??? wan to treat me like dis!....
• i cant handle u guys anymore.....can u pls...care me more....i might need you....i maybe really need u...
• so....i dunno what to do....the only word...u maybe can found someone better than me this weird people with full of stupidity....well no comment....

Sushi?? erm..YUCK!

• lolz HAPPY BIRTHDAY FAREEZ
• well today after school Me,Wei Yean and Lian Yan hav plan on a Sushi King today....cause of having promotion....
• at first is quite fun and excited.....so quite cool.....so we have waited for 1 hours.....
• well both of them ate ice-cream.....and we Q-up and just wait cause i don't like the ice-cream is sticky XP
• and so...till our turns...we get in and get the Sushi!!! both of them grab like don't have to pay it......LOL....and we eat a lot....
• and ahem ahem ahem....some lady just touch...ahem ahem..yea....
• and some girl!! just gave me a yucky fish...after i ate those...i feel like vomit.....seriously =.=;.....Beh Tahan!....ewwwww...it just make me wont go for Sushi King for like 1 month =.=
• so......go on while we're waiting for the place....we Meet Michelle...she have some shopping in Leisure Mall
• so...till we in eat half way...that girl....still waiting on the bus stop....so den...i asked her to come over and wait for me...so i fetch her back....is really dangerous to let a girl....alone over there...so den....before we left....we wanna try to break record but...too bad....we just can fit in more.....VERY VERY FULL!
• phew...so and is so muc cheaper...compare to last time we ate.....well is PROMOTION...
• ngek.....after that me just separated with lian yan and wei yean...cause they went for tuition and i'll accompany Michelle cause i have to fetch her back....Lucky her...if not she need to wait there alone...if i didnt go Sushi King.....so...yea that's all =D.....and pls...don't remind me the fish i ate just now...(vomit)

Sushi