Expressing

heyy, yep expressing time man...
Well, I dunno what this call... After, i watched the taiwanese drama I felt that they are really so sweet... Not only in Friend and Family They handle it very well... I'm really envy about it cause In fact I can do well both of it in my real life...well not to mention "relationship" hmmm It may be only a movie and so called "fantasy" but to me... I really wish to have one...
To tell the truth... I just fought with my family... again.. sigh....
They don't even know that I can't eat durians and "Bak Kut Teh" this is not because im Fussy but is because I cant handle those smell and will make me vomit instead of eating it... Even my friends know about it... and so cause of this we have quarreled about it... Indeed is a really small stuff...
but... this is related about the caring,the wellness as in know how well you are...they are my family....they don't even know what's my favourite and what I cant take it/dislike
well, Is ok that you guys(family) don't understand. I'm also cool that you went to work and didnt accompany me...and I also don't mind that you only see me twice a week.... and yeah I also don't mind that you dunno well about me and doesn't know what's my fav stuff
and yeah... I also don't mind you asked me to handle the family problem that you guys been giving me to handle... but.... I just wan my freedom.... the freedom not as in... going out or not... Is about... When I want to rest.. you ask me to go do something(understanding)
when I wan to eat"which the time for me to relax and calm down" and you asked me don't eat this and don't eat that....

I know I'm FAT but please I really dunno why I be like that...Maybe it just run in the genes... I ate the same amount as everyone does...Or maybe sometimes I eat lesser....due to our college busy time.... Can't you care about my feeling or just be understanding?... and Once something wrong... you guys actually blame me everything..... Sadly to say...I'm bad enough to be your dog man.... you ask me do that i'll do.... You guys used to scold me that I cant study.. ok fine... gosh.... I'm like in a prison... I wonder how long I can stay this long....

and yeah...talking about friend...last time...when i'm down and sad...even when I'm crying... I still know who should I call.... but now... when I look into my phone.... I dunno who should I call...when I'm happy.... What I can do is "shock sendiri" cause I dunno who should I share with...haha externally I may look like a guy who is know by everyone and a lot of friend... but internally... I just a guy who is lonely and cant find a true friend....

I always wanted to.....